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The Tears of a Pessimist

May 30, 2010

Never want to sound pessimistic really, opposite, i’ve always known as the cheerful of the group, always seeming to be seeing the bright side of the events even when there is no bright side.

I’m wondering lately if being the optimist is worth. Making everything my precious, giving everything value. Yeah, you know, questioning the purpose of life times. I am a Muslim, i believe, so i don’t have any questions. But since there are so many people unlike me on this earth, i’m still in wonder, in daze, about what’s gonna be, when everything comes to an end.

Philosophical consepts, i know. But isn’t that what we’re going through everyday, every hour, every minute, every second and every moment anyway.. living in wonders.

So, i don’t think Alice was ever in Wonderland. She was already in it. Wonders in wonders. Meeting new people, accepting them into your world, some closer, some more distant.. watching a drama and trying to develop empathy to the leading role or maybe you have this mothery feeling for weak ones and always wishing for the sad one to be happy in the end. The end.. when is it anyway. Why do they have final episodes always.. i wonder. Maybe that’s why Turkish dramas never end smoothly, because we don’t like leaving people behind. Packing them and putting up to a dark corner of our minds. Simply pretending like they never existed. That’s why i don’t like the final episodes. Because you’ll never know what’s coming next. You’ll always be in wonder. Wonders in wonders. Heavenly.

I need my sleep, it’s 1.04 am in Turkey, kayseri.

I’ll have my first final exam tomorrow. Final again. Why do i like it this time though it’s still a final, i wonder. Just want them to get over. If i don’t like it, why am i studing dentistry anyway, i wonder. Wonders in wonders. Never ends. That’s why i like it. It doesnt’t have a final.

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From → Scribbles

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